A.N. Roman (ex_nagi334) wrote in hankisland,
A.N. Roman

Hank Island FAQ

-What is Bulletproof Shampoo Moose?

Bulletproof Shampoo Moose (BSM) was originally an "alternative" group of musicians in late 1999 to early 2001. It was composed of The Flamboyant Bill on vocals, Nagi on guitar and sometimes drums, Yumiko on keyboards/drum machine, and Mustacio on guitar. Most members eventually didn't have time to make music on a regular basis, and they disbanded. The Flamboyant Bill now works in a deli somewhere in Montana, Nagi sells cars online for an up and coming company, Yumiko works in a gift shop at a local hospital, and Mustacio is probably dead somewhere because he thought it'd be cool to start drinking on a daily basis, and using most of his money toward drugs.

During that short time, Bulletproof Shampoo Moose was a mixture of crazy guitar solos, distorted vocals, annoying drum loops, and it was all about publicity. They played 5 whole shows in the 2 years they lasted. Influences of the band at that time were BucketHead, System of a Down, old cartoons like Tom & Jerry, the Beastie Boys, Disney, Aphex Twin, and horror movies.

However, on 5-27-2003, Yumiko and Nagi decided to start BSM up for real, and the music went in a whole new direction. It is now focused more on electronics and finger tapped guitar solos. What little vocals there are, are done with a program that combines voices to make one solid, creepy voice. BSM's first actual recording since the tapes made in July 2000, will be coming this November. Nagi does most of the keyboards, drum machine, and guitar, while Yumiko takes care of programming and most computer work.

-Who are BMS's influences now?

Just to name a very small few:

BucketHead, Farmington View, Alone in the Dark (series), Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Halloween, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Dragon Ash, System of a Down, Disney, Salma Hayek, Audrey Tautou, Michael Jackson, Madonna, non-slutty Jewel, Johnny Cash*, Tinker*, Sadie*, Tobers, Gretchen*, Reis, Mika*, Ginny, Bill Laswell, the number 4, J.S. Bach, Radiohead, Sega, Nintendo, Microsoft, Linux, Radium Z (OG/Taylor), Aphex Twin, Mindless Self Indulgence, Shakira, Sobe (the yellow kind), Tony Bennett, Mick Foley, THA MACHO MAN, Hulk Hogan, Liz Phair, El Mariachi (series), Tyra Banks, yogurt, Fernandes guitars, Gibson Guitar Company, all animals, Takeshi Aono, Looney Tunes, the zoo, Capcom, Squaresoft (except for that mistake which was FF7), Donkey Kong Country, Zero, Rush, Tenchi Muyo! OVA, Berserk, Yellow Machinegun, Anji, Saitou, Hiei, KFC's honey bbq wings (100% white chicken breast), Russia, Sa'ad, Randy Hubbard, Mike + Paul Nishizaki, Cindi McAdams, Aaron Dixon, Rick Johnson, Zoe, Paulie, Steve, William Stuart/Stewart, and of course that one guy. Right Kuji?

-What songs/tracks has BSM put out?

While many tracks were not given names upon production, the Hank Island members in charge of the music vault have compiled the following list:

-King f'n Kong
-Mr. Dolay
-Hank on Lookout
-Takeshi + Nozomi
-Jade Visions
-Discombobulated Verbo Alank
-Haw Haw Carrot
-The Zoo at Midnight
-Punch your girlfriend in the neck and push her down a flight of stairs

-What is Hank Island?

Hank Island is an uncharted island where the souls of the deceased go. There, they go under the sand and rest for 4 years. In that time, they become palm trees. With time, the palm trees grow coconuts. Once the coconuts fall, they break open (they aren't very hard), and a Hank comes out. You can
visit Hank Island if you know someone with directions, or if you answer a series of very difficult trivia questions. Hank Island's temperature is always 89 degrees during the day, and always 72 degrees at night. There are stores, movie theaters, lush jungles, lakes, and an underground mountain.

-What is a Hank?

He's the lovable rabbit with an antenna you see on the icon. He's actually tan with a yellow antenna ball, but that red icon is the best picture we have of a Hank.

-Were there any music videos by BSM?

Yes, but just one. It was made on June 19th, 2003. It was for the track "Takeshi + Nozomi". The video can be purchased for 2 dollars through the BSM website. The video had dolls of Takeshi flying through a forest at night, searching for his love- Nozomi. He ran into much trouble on the way, but made it to her in the end.

-What is the address for the band's website?

The website isn't for many people to view. It's not to be stuck up or in hiding or anything, but it just has too much that not many would understand at the moment. If you want a hint, it's not what you think it'd be. In fact, it's an official ".com" version of the title of the site from 2000. The site contains photo galleries, merchandise, lyrics, tabs, and a few cheaply designed games.

-I saw CHIEF PANDA at Lloyd Center on September 29th, 2003. What was he doing?

CHIEF PANDA, Nagi, and Yumiko were at Lloyd Center from 10:44 am - 12:44 pm handing out buttons, flyers, patches, and 3 tapes that they had left over from the whole programming incident in July. CHIEF PANDA ran into some trouble with a custodian, but using his powers, was able to take care of the matter before it grew menacing. The group also got 3 dollars for watching a movie preview of "Elf" as part of a survey. They bought incredible things with that three dollars.

-What are the lyrics for "Punch your girlfriend in the neck and push her down a flight of stairs"?

I wanna get freaaaaky with yooooooooou
Smack me in the face

Girl, I wanna give you third degree burns on your eye
Punch you in the neck until you die
An' when your mom opens the door
I'll push you down the stairs and yell "YOU FUCKING HOAR."

You need something calm
How about I run the bath water
And all because I sold my cherry for a goat

Sell your children on the black market

...the song you heard on the tape was actually unfinished. That laughter you heard was Yumiko's: she couldn't sing this while maintaining a straight face. We don't know why.

-Can I get an antenna?

I'm sorry, antennas are out of stock until the palm trees grow more.

-What happened to the spatula?

Sadly, it was lost in an epic struggle between Nagi and the Discombobulated Verbo Alank. While both fighters tried their hardest, both their weapons were lost in a flash of light. If you see it, please contact Hank Aide at the email address found on the home page.

-What is the "Discombobulated Verbo Alank"?

In January 2000, Nagi's science teacher gave out science crossword puzzles. But one answer wasn't found, and when he asked for help, she said "if must be some weird blank". Sure enough "some weird blank" fit. The only problem was that the 'b' in "blank" was already filled with an 'a'. "Alank" was born. Soon after, he overheard someone say something in spanish at Winco about a turkey. "discombobulated" and "verbo" stood out. Just months later, the three words came out of Nagi's mind when he was sleeping. They fused together to create the most wicked beast in history. You can find a picture of it at


in the "other stuff" folder. Beware. Viewing the artist's rendition of it has been known to cause pregnancy regardless of gender.

-It's "whore", not "hoar".

That isn't a question, as it's missing a question mark, but you are wrong. "Whore" is just "who're" minus the apostrophe. "Hoar" is much better, and is funner to spell.

-Who'd Hank kill to get that facial expression?

If we told you, we'd have to skip buying you a Halloween present.
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